I’ve always had high standards for myself. In my life, in my relationships, and even in my beauty and wellness rituals. I want to maximize every moment of my life—and if you’re reading this, you can probably relate. For so much of my life, I had to work on releasing the shame of being “too intense” or “too ambitious” that many women get saddled with. But over time, I realized there’s a fine line between holding yourself to a high standard and holding yourself hostage to perfection.
But here’s the thing: when you’re used to chasing perfection, it’s easy to start chasing approval, too. Navigating social expectations and cultural milestones can make you second-guess yourself—what you want, who you are, and whether you’re doing “enough.” You can get so caught up trying to measure up to where you should be that you end up on a hamster wheel, endlessly trying to catch up. And no hamster wheel is more seductive than the Hot Girl Hamster Wheel: the set of aesthetic codes and wellness rituals we inherit through trends and tradition. It’s only when you step off that you start to notice what truly feels like you—and what’s just distraction dressed up as self-improvement.
Image above from our interview with Simone Boyce
What is the ‘Hot Girl Hamster Wheel’?
The term ‘Hot Girl Hamster Wheel’ was coined by Katie Gatti Tassin, aka Money With Katie, on her podcast and recently in her new book, Rich Girl Nation. But what is the Hot Girl Hamster Wheel? According to Tassin, it’s “the expensive maintenance that traditional female beauty ideals prescribe: haircuts, manis/pedis, spray tans… the list goes on.” And it’s a hamster wheel because of how much maintenance goes into our beauty routines. (Which can start to feel more like obligations than rituals.) And, of course, the older we get, the more pressure we feel to do more to look perpetually 25.
As a financial expert, Tassin approaches this subject by asking why no one is talking about just how expensive it is to be a woman. The average woman spends over $3000 a year on beauty, and some of us significantly more if you factor in wellness treatments and in-spa procedures. But beyond the dollar amount, there’s another cost of the obligatory Hot Girl Hamster Wheel: your authentic inner radiance.
The True Cost of Beauty
Tassin acknowledges that for many of us, beauty is tied not only to self-expression but also to self-care. But at what point does it shift from a healthy way of showing up in the world to an exhausting effort to meet others’ expectations?
When we step off the hamster wheel, we can reconnect with what makes us feel like ourselves—and let go of what makes us feel like somebody else.
Below, we unpack how the Hot Girl Hamster Wheel can subtly shape your routines—and how to reclaim your beauty rituals with intention and ease.
Are you on the Hot Girl Hamster Wheel?
Remember how exciting beauty used to feel? From my middle school inauguration into sparkly lip gloss and even more sparkly eyeshadow to experimenting with products in early adulthood, I remember how euphoric it felt to play dress up and find joy in my own face. It felt like a canvas to explore—until it didn’t. Somehow, my face started to feel like a problem to pluck and peel and paint into submission.
The worst part of it all? It worked. I got hooked on the feeling of external validation I got from performing beauty as I had seen it advertised in magazines and on social media. Suddenly, my routine started to feel like an obligation, not an adventure.
According to Tassin, the hamster wheel creeps up on you through maintenance—because, as she puts it, “each and every treatment, service, and product must be maintained.” Like endless streaming subscriptions, you often don’t realize how much time, effort, and money you’re spending to keep up appearances until you pause and ask a simple question: why?
If you feel like you’re on a ride you can’t get off—and your beauty rituals leave you more drained than fulfilled—you might be on the Hot Girl Hamster Wheel. Most of us end up there at some point. As a beauty editor, I’m constantly balancing my love for beauty and wellness with the fragility of perfectionism.
But what if every step of your beauty routine felt devotional instead of dutiful? What if you freed up that time, money, and mental space for what actually brings you joy? When I focus on what feels good rather than what earns compliments, I find the courage to step off the validation wheel—and back into myself.
How to Step Off the Hot Girl Hamster Wheel
Calculate the Costs
For Tassin, stepping off the Hot Girl Hamster Wheel started with a financial incentive. She realized she was spending more than 10% of her annual income on expensive beauty maintenance. Even more alarming, she realized she often used beauty routines as a way to self-soothe. She would book a wax and hair treatment and mani-pedi whenever she felt sad—always finding that she emerged less fulfilled.
Maybe the creeping costs of your beauty routine alarm you, too—or maybe the toll is more emotional. My wake-up call came when I realized my beauty upkeep had become a substitute for true rest. I was seeking a reset in my monthly facials and a moment of calm in my manicures. But when I began finding those feelings in genuine wellness rituals, I saw how much I’d been clinging to convenience and habit.
For you, the cost might be time, effort, or decision fatigue. So often, we pile on more products and practices without really being intentional about our why. And a lack of intentionality is at the heart of most internal dissonance.
Pare Back Your Routine
What would happen if you canceled your maintenance appointments for the next month? If you stripped back to the bare minimum of your beauty rituals—from a minimalist skincare routine to a barefaced (or no-makeup makeup) product toolkit?
This is not about becoming a beauty minimalist if you don’t want to be. Going back to basics gives you a complete reset. It also helps you face any residual fear about not being your most put-together self. Like stepping into a cold plunge, it can be uncomfortable at first, but you’ll be surprised at how invigorated you feel after.
Have No Shame About Your Non-Negotiables
There are certain things you might not want to give up—the rituals that feel essential to your self-expression or that you’ve refined over years of practice. When I gave up mani-pedis, I realized I didn’t need them monthly; saving them for an occasional treat actually made them feel more luxurious. But any time I’ve tried to do less with my hair, I end up frustrated and, honestly, barely recognizing myself in the mirror.
My monthly hair appointments stay. So does my elaborate skincare routine. Knowing my non-negotiables helps me appreciate which rituals make me feel most like myself—and which are simply nice to have.
Reintroduce the Things You Miss
Just like personal style, having your own beauty toolkit helps you define your signature look. Ask yourself: What routines make your soul sing? Which products do your hands instinctively reach for? What appointments do you secretly miss adding back to your calendar?
Some people feel naked without a red lip. I used to count mascara as my must-have—until I realized that curling my lashes is enough for me (though others might consider that sacrilege). On the flip side, discovering that I could never give up my under-eye tightening treatment made me appreciate it even more. I used to worry it was “too much” and saved it for special occasions, but now it’s one of my favorite parts of my daily ritual.
When every step of your routine is curated for you—not for anyone else—the dread of spending an hour on your makeup disappears. It becomes a ritual, not an obligation.
Give Yourself Permission to Evolve
Tassin said it best: “[My beauty habits] were fossilized in my self-esteem. I had to chip away at a lot more than just dollars and cents in order to unpack my financial decisions in the beauty realm.”
Often, our beauty rituals become the armor we wear to feel safe moving through the world. And they’re not just about vanity—pretty privilege is real, along with the racial, ageist, and class-based expectations that shape our definition of beauty. Stepping off the Hot Girl Hamster Wheel can bring up complicated emotions that run deeper than whether or not to ditch your lip liner.
Don’t ignore those feelings. Journal them out. Sit with them. This reflection is part of uncovering your why—and creating space for your intuition to guide your rituals, leading you toward your most authentic, radiant self.
Most importantly, give yourself permission to evolve. You might not change a single thing about your beauty habits, or you might let them shift with the seasons of your life—like intuitive eating or dopamine dressing. What matters is that you lead with intention. Because true radiance doesn’t come from perfection—it comes from alignment.
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