How many friends is too many friends? While humans can feel connected to hundreds, even thousands, of people via Facebook, Instagram or TikTok, our brains may only be able to handle a finite number of real relationships.
But scientists are divided on what that number is.
University of Oxford professor Dr. Robin Dunbar, the pioneer of research into neurological processes that underpin social connection, has maintained for decades that humans cannot maintain a social network beyond 150 people.
What does he mean by this? Well your family and closest friends but up to people you wouldn’t feel embarrassed about running into at an airport at 3 a.m.
Beyond 150 people, those are “one-way relationships” Dunbar told The Wall Street Journal Tuesday. “The key to the 150 and the layers within is that they’re reciprocated,” he added.
Of those 150, Dunbar says just five people are the family and friends you feel closest to and ten are people you see at least once a month. Some 50 others are people you’d invite to a birthday party, and 100 more would be guests at your wedding.
But, others have disagreed with Dunbar’s conclusions, which are based on studying the human brain and those of other primates.
The bigger the neocortex – the part of the brain responsible for language and memory – the larger the network, Dunbar has posited.
Swedish researchers argued in 2021 that there is no cut off number at all, and that comparing humans to other primates ignores key differences. Chimpanzees and other species need to fend off predators and fight for food, for example. Humans, by and large, don’t do that anymore.
Dunbar called that research “absolutely bonkers,” telling The New York Times then that he marveled at the Stockholm University researchers “apparent failure to understand relationships.”
The Oxford academic emphasized that the rise of social media has done little to change his findings, which he first published in 1993.
“If you look at the frequency of postings on social media, frequency of telephone calls, the frequency of face-to-face contacts, the frequency of texting, you see the same layers,” he told The Journal.
But away from the social network debate, public health officials say that any real friendship can help save lives.
Loneliness and social isolation raise the risk for premature death by more than a quarter, and lacking connection is as dangerous for your health as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, according to a 2023 report from Biden-era Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy.
Loneliness is increasing in the U.S., with more than 20 percent of adults reporting feeling lonely, according to Harvard research. Social media use has also been tied to depression and loneliness, and people are spending less time face-to-face with friends and family.
Strong social connection can have a profoundly positive health impact and protects against heart disease, dementia and stroke, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
All you really need is one friend to make a difference, Dr. Jeffrey Hall, a professor at the University of Kansas, told The New York Times. However, different friends allow us to share parts of ourselves more than others.
“If you want to have the most meaningful life, one where you feel bonded and connected to others, more friends are better,” he said.
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